Funny musicians: Quotes that inspire laughter

Jazz is not dead. It just smells funny.

What is better than music? Yes, you are right – nothing. But still, humor does come a close second. Apparently, laughter is extremely beneficial for your physical and mental health – it helps reduce stress, strengthen the immune system, release endorphins and protect your heart. As you know, we at Drooble really care about your overall well-being so we have compiled a list to combine our, and hopefully your, mutual love for both music and humor.

Warning: Put your drink down, we don’t want anything coming out of your nose.
Let’s get to laughing, cackling, giggling and smirking.

 

A few quotes on the art that is music:

 

Kirke Mechem

Kirke Mechem: “Only become a musician if there is absolutely no other way you can make a living.”

 

Igor Stravinsky

Igor Stravinsky: “My music is best understood by children and animals.”

 

Thomas Beecham

Thomas Beecham: “There are two golden rules for an orchestra: start together and finish together. The public doesn’t give a damn what goes on in between.”

 

Louis Armstrong

Louis Armstrong: “All music is folk music. I ain’t never heard a horse sing a song.”

 

Chet Atkins

Chet Atkins: “When I was a little boy, I told my dad, ‘When I grow up, I want to be a musician.’ My dad said: ‘You can’t do both, Son’.”

 

Keith Moon

Keith Moon: “To get your playing more forceful, hit the drums harder.”

 

Robert Schumann

Robert Schumann: “In order to compose, all you need to do is remember a tune that nobody else has thought of.”

 

Johann Sebastian Bach

Johann Sebastian Bach: “It’s easy to play any musical instrument: all you have to do is touch the right key at the right time and the instrument will play itself.”

 

Frank Zappa

Frank Zappa: “Jazz is not dead, it just smells funny.”

 

 

Paul McCartney

Paul McCartney: “There’s nothing like the eureka moment of knocking off a song that didn’t exist before – I won’t compare it to sex, but it lasts longer.”

 

Stravinski

Igor Stravinsky: “Too many pieces of music finish too long after the end.”

 

Trent Reznor

Trent Reznor: “When an instrument fails on stage it mocks you and must be destroyed!”

 

Cole Porter

Cole Porter: “My sole inspiration is a telephone call from a producer.”

 

Freddie Mercury

Freddie Mercury: “If I didn’t do this well, I just wouldn’t have anything to do…I can’t cook, and I’d be a terrible housewife.”

 

Enjoy some advice and observations from famous musicians:

 

Adele

Adele: If a man whistles at you, do not respond. You are a lady, not a dog.

 

Richard Strauss

Richard Strauss: “Never look at the trombones, it only encourages them.”

 

Bela Bartok

Bela Bartok: “Competitions are for horses, not artists.”

 

Bob Dylan

Bob Dylan: “Money doesn’t talk, it swears.”

 

 

Let’s finish it off with a set of general musings by musicians:

 

Frank Z

Frank Zappa: “Rock journalism is people who can’t write interviewing people who can’t talk in order to provide articles for people who can’t read.”

 

Angus Young

Angus Young: “I’m sick to death of people saying we’ve made 11 albums that sound exactly the same. In fact, we’ve made 12 albums that sound exactly the same.”

 

Jeff Beck

Jeff Beck: “After I saw Jimmy [Hendrix] play, I just went home and wondered what the f*** I was going to do with my life.”

 

Quincy Jones

Quincy Jones: “I don’t deserve a Songwriters Hall of Fame Award. But fifteen years ago, I had a brain operation and I didn’t deserve that, either. So I’ll keep it!”

 

Jon Bon Jovi

Jon Bon Jovi: “If you wanted to torture me, you’d tie me down and force me to watch our first five videos.”

 

Jim Morrison

Jimmy Morrison: “Actually I don’t remember being born, it must have happened during one of my black outs.”

 

Do you know of any other funny quotes from musicians? We would love to hear them – share them with us in the comments or amaze other Drooble users with your vast knowledge of humorous sayings.

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